Online Killer
by female ninja
Summary: Murders start to take place in the village of Konoha, Who is doing this and what do they want? rated for gore
1. Dog Boy's Death

Kris: Hey! It's me, Kris, from The Dare Show. Sadly, it got canceled for breaking some rules but I am working on making a website and putting it up there ... with a new chapter as well. Well, enough about that. I finally got off my butt and started to write a new Fanfiction. -feels proud of herself-

Naruto: About what?

Kris: I really haven't decided yet. -sweatdrops- But I'll figure it out while I type. All I know is that it will be a horror/humor.

Naruto: Oh...

Kris: That's how I normally work.

Naruto: Ah.

Kris: Oh Yes I do NOT own Naruto or any of it's character's. I only own My army of Hobo zombies and Henrietta R. Hippo Happy Fun-Fun Book. Oh yeah the characters sometimes talk on chatrooms online so there may be some chat talk but i ment for it to be that way and I know not to talk chat speak so please don't flame me about that.

* * *

Chapter 1: The Dog Boy's Death 

Kiba was online IMing Hinata, Shino, and Kurenai.

Kibbles and bits: So guys! wuts up!

Hyuuga1227: nothing.

Highheeled woman: I brought new highheels today!

Shino: You always do that.

Just then a new chatroom opened up.

Mister It: Hello Kiba-kun.

Kibbles and bits: Do I kno ya.

Mister It: You will know me soon enough, Kiba-kun.

Kibbles and bits: Hana quit it!

Mister It: No, I'm not your dear sister, but you will know soon enough. 3

Kibbles and bits: LEAVE ME ALONE!

With this Kiba signed off and sat relaxed in his chair. All of a sudden he straightened up with shock and started to sniff the air.

"MOM!" Kiba yelled "... Are you making cookies!"

"Yes, Kiba-kun"

"Oh, Great I wanted some!" Kiba screamed back happily, forgetting all about Mister It.

After having some fresh baked cookies, Kiba stayed away from the computer and watched TV with Akamaru.

"Kiba, Did you take out Akamaru yet?"

"Umm... Yeah?" Kiba lied.

"Kiba!" his mother yelled.

"Okay, I'm going." Kiba said "Come on Akamaru!"

Akamaru whined and whimpered, but after Kuromaru walked into the living room, Ran out of the open door with Kiba.

Not soon after Kiba and Akamaru started on their walk it started to rain, dark clouds above blocking out the light of the moon with no signs of life except for Naruto's voice ringing outside.

"SENSEI! Do the electricity thingy!" Naruto yelled in an alley not to far from where the two were walking.

"No, Naruto. Let's just get home." A tired and wet Kakashi said.

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE! I'll do Sexy no justu If you don't!" Naruto screamed

"How do you know I won't like it if you do sexy no jutsu?" Kakashi questioned the blonde ninja.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW sensei, you pervert!"

"Fine I'll do it. RAIKIRI!" Kakashi said doing the almighty jutsu known as raikiri. All of a sudden Kakashi started the shake violently and BAM! A huge explosion of electricity happened in the alley just missing Naruto.

"OH SHINY!" Naruto screamed with joy at the sight not realizing the pain his sensei was going though.

Kiba walked past the scene of Naruto clapping as Kakashi laid on the ground groaning in pain, covered in ash.

All of a sudden Shino walked right in front of Kiba into an open alley. "Hey! Shino!" Kiba screamed his greeting to the quiet bug boy. No answer. So Kiba followed his teammate into the dark alley. Then, a different scent filled his nose. " Wait, Your not Shino!" The boy screamed and a voice out of no where said "Your right for once Kiba-kun!"

A huge crash was heard and in the alley that held Naruto and Kakashi. "WAOH! What was THAT?" Naruto screamed in his sensei's ear

"I don't know, maybe Jiraiya fell off his mountain again." Kakashi shrugged "And don't yell in my ear."

With that the two went home not noticing he blood moving towards a gutter nearby mixing with the newly fallen rain.

The next day

The members of the Inuzuka clan were in the alley with the four favorite jonins, and the Hokage. the genin were sitting outside of the alley with Iruka talking to one another, as the jonin's asked for each other's ideas.

"What's going on!" Naruto screamed.

"Yeah and where's Kiba-kun." Hinata said sifting in her spot on the ground between Naruto and Shino.

"My bugs sense something." Shino said.

A loud howl as heard from Kuromaru.

"Kiba-kun!" Hana screamed, her voice breaking into the heads of the once calm genin sending their minds into dark thoughts.

"Are you sure Kuromaru can't help." Tsume's voice said gently.

"No, Whoever did this sprayed deodorant around so it's scent is covered." Kakashi voice spoke "Just go home and rest for now."

Kakashi and Kurenai walked out of the alley with the two grieving Inuzukas and Kuromaru. With this new chance, the genin went and took a peek at the alley and saw the blood stained sight of Kiba smashed from his neck down. Blood sprayed across the ground. A dumpster with blood on one side and the worse sight of all, Gai. All the genin stopped in horror at the sight.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Naruto screamed falling to the ground on his butt "WHAT THE HELL!"

"K-k-Kiba!" Hinata squealed fainting at the sight.

"..." Shino adjusted his glasses.

"Well, They would see at one point." Kakashi voice broke the bloody scene.

"W-what happened, Sensei." Sakura asked.

"Simple, It's a murder." Kakashi said in a stern voice.

Dun, dun, dun!

"What a dumpster just fell on Kiba? It could have been an accident?" Naruto screamed

"Well, you haven't seen Akamaru yet." Kakashi said

"WHAT! What happened to him!" Naruto asked.

"Well, if you think your strong enough." Kakashi began "See for yourself."

"Fine!" Naruto said walking into the alley. All the other except Hinata, Sakura and Iruka followed the blonde boy. There was Akamaru hanging from a rope, skinned, His eyes still in and a kunai stuck in the poor dog's now visible stomach, keeping him from moving. Underneath him written in blood was a message

What a sweet wittle puppy!

Ino vomited into the dumpster at the sight of the now skinless dog. The others utter noises of pure disgust and Lee fainted.

"He was skinned alive..." Kakashi said

"So this is what my bugs sensed" Shino said.

"Who would do such a thing!" Gai screamed youthfully.

"Wait..." Naruto said something clicking in his small brain "KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

* * *

Kris: I feel bad for killing Kiba and Akamaru.

Kakashi: Me?

Kris: Huh? What is it Kakashi?

Kakashi: Why would I kill Kiba and Akamaru?

Kris: -Shugs- I don't know, but you are going to court.

Kakashi: Can I have a vacation after that?

Kris: Actually I was going to kill you next...

Kakashi: what if I kill you first?

Kris: Well, My zombies will eat your head and turn you into a donkey.

Kakashi: A donkey?

Kris: Yeah. Read and review and vote on who should be Kakashi's lawyer.

Pakkun

Naruto

Kakashi represent himself

Jiraiya

Miss Cleo

Kakashi: Miss Cleo?

Kris Yep!


	2. Court of the freaks

Kris: Hi ya'll I didn't get as big a turn out with reviews as I hoped. Hard to compete with how many I had gotten with the dare show. Also I found a site to put on the Dare show but I have to re edit the chapters and finish up with the one I'm writing. 

Kakashi: Well, how are you doing planing my death? 

Kris: Oh Kakashi, Tell me what you think so far. 

Kakashi: Why do I have a bad feeling about this? 

Kris: Kakashi was reading his beloved book when all of a sudden he was hit by a milk truck. 

Kakashi: What? 

Kris: Having both of his legs broken he crawled out of the streets with his baby. Then a rabid goat ran over him breaking his back leaving him immobile. 

Kakashi: Rabid Goat? 

Kris: Then Homer Simpson rolled him in a carpet and threw him off a cliff. Barely alive the ninja crawled out of the carpet, forgetting about the pain of his broken back. All of a sudden Peter Griffin started to beat him with a hose. 

Kakashi:... What the- 

Kris: Still the jonin lived on crawling back to Konoha. Then he realized with horror the goat stole his book. So he drowned himself in the river. 

So any advice? 

Kakashi: Yeah. Go back to the drawing board.

* * *

**Court of the freaks**

Everyone gasped and stared at the famous ninja. 

"S-sensei?" Sakura stuttered as Hinata fainted. 

"How could I? I was with Naruto last night?" Kakashi asked. 

"Maybe it was a genjustu!" Naruto screamed pointing a finger at his confused sensei. 

"But why kill Kiba? I mean if I killed Neji or Hinata I would get a byakugan. Sasuke would give me another sharigan. Kiba is really a no one, no point to kill him." Kakashi said "It would have been a pure waste." 

Kakashi made one mistake with his speech and it just clicked in Naruto's head. 

"How did you get your sharigan anyway!" Naruto demanded. 

Kakashi blinked amazed Naruto had finally listened to pick out Kakashi's flaw. Damn... Kakashi stood there looking at the pebbles on the ground. a mournful expression plastered on his face in remembrance the worst mistake of his life. The rest of the gang took it as regret for the murder, Naruto thought it was gas. 

"I..." Kakashi's tone of voice had softened. 

"Enough talk, time for court!" Asuma wailed "COURTHOUSE NO JUTSU!" 

All of a sudden the dark a bloody alley turned into a stone courthouse. the guys found themselves now wearing suits and ties and the girls wore dresses. 

"Hey!" Iruka whined "Why am I in a dress?" Indeed Iruka was wearing a knee length, dark blue dress. 

"Because your a sissy." Asuma, the manly man said to the depressed sissy chuunin "Now Kakashi call your lawyer." 

Soon Miss Cleo appeared at the doors of the court. 

"You called, darling." She said walking to Kakashi. Kakashi explained the story to the physic lady. 

All of a sudden it hit Kakashi hard. He never needed to call miss Cleo. 

"I couldn't have done it." Kakashi stated "I have no hands!" Kakashi stuck his hands in his shirt hiding them from the not so bright team of people around. 

Everyone gasped dramatically. 

"It's true!" Naruto screamed. 

"Oh my God! My rival was born handless!" Gai gasped 

Now knowing Kakashi couldn't have murdered the young Inuzuka. who could it be? 

Iruka was looking at a picture of the crushed Kiba "Hey! What happened to Kiba's nose?" 

Indeed Kiba's nose had been cut off. 

"Who would be interested in a young boy?" Kurenai asked 

"Yeah, and who would take his nose?" 

Another light bulb clicked over Naruto's head "That womanly guy liked noses! You know sensei the one that invited me to visit him at his ranch. Well I guess we have no choice but to go there and-" 

"We are NOT going to neverland ranch with that freak for the last time!" Kakashi yelled "Besides it was closed down." 

"Aw man!" Naruto whined. 

"Well I guess we're at square one" Sasuke said randomly 

"Yeah" Asuma sighed 

Everyone left the room except Kakashi and Miss. Cleo. 

"Well, sorry to call you for no reason." Kakashi said rubbing the back of his head. 

"You. Dear, you are in grave danger." Miss. Cleo warned 

"Umm...thanks." Kakashi said as he said muttering under his breath "freak."

* * *

Kris: Finally! -collapses- 

Kakashi: Took you long enough. 

Kris: Shut up Marshmallow butt! 

Kakashi: I thought that's what your sister calls me! 

Kris: Yeah Ramen and waffles gave you the nickname but that doesn't mean I can't use it! 

Kakashi: Jerk. 

Kris: What happened to your cravings, Kakashi! 

Kakashi: I want pie! -Runs off for pie- 

Sasuke: MINE! 

Kris: At least I got rid of him. Oh yeah in my school I was figuring what Naruto characters my friends act like and I realized I'm like Hinata and the boy I have a crush on is like Naruto, He even has spiky, blonde hair. Weird. O.o  



	3. Kiba's Funeral

Kris: -sniffle- 

Iruka: What's wrong, Kris? 

Kakashi: The 23rd was her last day of school. 

Kris: I miss my friends... and my gym teacher : ( 

Kakashi: It's okay... Wait! Why your gym teacher? 

Kris: He was a freak...and now I can't make jokes about him being a child molesting cannibal... 

Iruka: Well, you'll see them next year. 

Kris: -Starts crying- 

Kakashi: -slaps Iruka- She's going into a new school which none of her friends, and gym teacher, will be there. 

Kris: And the boy I like, me and him can never talk now... I don't have his number. 

Kakashi: Why don't you go on with the fiction. 

Kris: Okay -sniffle-

* * *

**Kiba's funeral**

Loud howling was all that could be heard in the cold and dank funeral pallor of Konoha. The Inuzuka sat in chair near the Kiba's coffin, all wearing black fur coats. 

"Kiba... Akamaru..." Hana whispered remembering the death of her younger brother. 

"Poor Kiba-kun..." his grandma willow said, tears gently flowing down her face. 

Outside Shino arrived wearing a black trench coat, dress shoes and his dark sunglasses. He stood there, not even breathing as he waited for the rest. All of a sudden a huge stretch limo drove up and when the door opened and two gay cowboys got out, got married and adopted Shino as their love child. Not really though Shino just went crazy for a minute from eating paste. Instead, wearing a black dress, Hinata popped out and behind her in a black tux was Neji. Followed by Tenten. 

"Hi Shino..." Hinata whispered 

"..." Shino stated 

"Stupid main house making me come her" Neji ranted to himself. 

"Hi, I'm Tenten!" Tenten gasped 

Soon a red muscle car parked in the parking lot. Asuma and Kurenai stepped out of Asuma's manly man mobile and do you really care what they are wearing? They joined the group of genin and waited as a green punch buggy pulled up and guess who got out? If you said Mr. Slaphappypants the math teacher, Your wrong. Wearing black spandex with green polka dots on it was Gai and Lee. 

"Poor Kiba! At least he died with his youth still attached!" Gai screamed. 

"I hope I die with my youth still with me, Gai-sensei!" Lee screamed back receiving a punch to the face. 

"Lee, Your so youthful!" Gai screamed again "At a hundred and two you will still be youthful" 

"I'll never be as youthful as you, Gai-sensei!" 

"Lee!" 

"Gai-sensei!" 

"LEE!" 

"GAI-SENSEI!" 

The two hugged and the sunset appeared blinding everyone accept Shino. 

"I have bugs in my pants" Shino stated to this. 

Soon everyone was there, everyone except Kakashi, Anko, Iruka, and the rat demon named Kojiro, but he later called in that he couldn't go because he was locked in the Konoha gym with the boogyman. 

"Where are they!" Jiraiya screamed chewing on his tie with naked women on it. 

"That's sensei for you." Sakura stated "Alway's late." 

With that a black sedan pulled up and out came Anko and Kakashi. 

"Kakashi, Where's Iruka." Kurenai asked as Asuma snickered. 

"He still in the car." Kakashi said pointing back. 

With that the Chuunin walked out...wearing a clown suit. 

Asuma snatched a picture with his camera of manly maness 

"Asuma!" Iruka whined "You said this was a clown convention!" 

"Never did I!" Asuma cried out receiving a death glare from Kurenai. 

After paying their last respects, the group sat in small wooden chairs and listened to what some people had to say about Kiba. Then they all went out to get ramen. 

"Man! That was boring!" Naruto screamed slurping the yummy noodles up. 

Everyone sat around talking about what had happen, who could have done it? 

"Maybe it was a random physco killer?" Kurenai said 

"But we just proved it wasn't Kakashi." Gai stated receiving a death glare from Kakashi 

"I don't think so. It seemed planned" Iruka rubbed his chin. "But why Kiba?" 

"Hey! We didn't say you could talk, chuunin!" Asuma yelled. 

Everyone started to go there separate ways on the long walk home. 

2 hours later  
On a small, teen chat board One member of the group was looking around for clues. 

Pineapplehead: Have you ever talked to someone with the name Kibbles and bits? 

Miss cute puppy: Yeah, he's my brother... 

Pineapplehead: Oh. Sorry Hana. 

A new box clicked opened. 

Mister it: Hello, I heard you want to know what happened to Kibbles and bits. 

Pineapplehead: Yeah? 

Mister it: come to the alley near the dango shop... I'll meet you there and tell you EVERYTHING i know. 

Dun dun dun!

* * *

Kris: There! 

Kakashi: Now don't you feel better? 

Kris: No. I need a hug... 

-Shino runs up and hugs Kris- 

Kris: Thanks Shino. 

Obito: HI! 

Kris: Aren't you dead? 

Obito: Maybe? 

Kris: Where'd Kakashi go? 

Kakashi: -On a beach in Mexico- This is the life. -Sighs- 


	4. Happy Chouji

Kris: It's almost time for school for me. 

Kakashi: Yes! I get away from you.

Kris: So your back?

Kakashi: Yeah, the Mexican's tried to eat my hair.

Kris: Ew.

Kakashi: yeah.

Kris: You missed Obito.

Kakashi: O-Obito?

Kris: Yeah.

Kakashi: …

**Happy Chouji**

Dark. The alley was so dark and cold. The air filled with death and grieving. Silence took over, eliminating all light and hope.

"Why are we here, Iruka?" Kakashi asked the chuunin.

"I Think we're missing some vital clues." Iruka said slowly studying the area.

"Like what?"

"I don't know?"

"Man, This is boring." Anko complained.

"Yeah, let's go clubbing." Kakashi suggested pulling the chuunin away. Anko screamed and they were off.

Five minutes after they left, A pineapple slipped into the alley.

Chouji was happy. He was making cookies for him and his best friend Shikamaru. Today, they were going to the park and watch the clouds go by while eating cookies. Nothing could be better. The oven timer rang out. And the happy Chouji opened his happy oven happily, pulled out his happy cookies. After a few minutes of being chased by Yogi Bear, Cookie Monster, and his father, he set his happy cookies of love down on the table to cool. Just then door bell rang. He happily skipped to his door of his happy house to open the door happily on this happy day. No one was there, just a pretty fruit basket. He picked it up and found a small card That read. "A treat from your friend, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru randomly sending him fruit? It could happen. _Aw, thanks buddy._ He rummaged though the fruit looking at the selection. Plums, oranges, apples, grapes, melons, kumquats, a pineapple. WAIT! That's not a pineapple! It's…! Chouji screamed and started crying.

An hour later everyone was at the Akimchi household. Everyone trying to clam Chouji down.

"Come on, Chouji. It's going to be okay." Iruka said in a calming, sissy voice.

"N-no it isn't!" Chouji yelled.

"Please, calm down." Kurenai hushed.

"YOUTH!" Gai screamed.

Kakashi, who had slipped into the kitchen, was looking around.. He found the fruit basket and stared at it.

"Dude! Can I have some fruit!" Kakashi screamed. He then blinked _Dude?Did i just say dude? I'm becoming my father…great._

He poked thought the fruit and noticed something. The pineapple, didn't have the annoying pokey skin. It was smooth and soft. And it wasn't leaves that sprouted from the fruit but hair. Then It hit him.

"I want curry with this pineapple." Kakashi realized. He pulled the pine apple out and saw Shikamaru's head staring blankly at him. "Man, what an ugly pineapple."

Everyone crowded into the room looking at the head. It's mouth open in an O. It's eyes glazed over, for once, in a wide awake fashion. A hole, just big enough to fit a man's finger into, was in the center of the forehead. Everyone gasped and some cried. Hinata fainted and Ino threw up… Again.

Kakashi stared at the hole. Something strange just kept hitting him. Why? He knew the hole didn't cause his death. His eyes would have been looking more up, towards the wound. It hit him like Gai being tossed at him. He used his pointer finger and quickly stuck it in. Everyone was grossed out.

"It's gone.." Kakashi said.

"What?" Everyone yelled.

"His brain… isn't in his head."

Dun! Dun! Dun!

"Shut up Gai!" Kakashi yelled "Enough with the dun, dun, dun!"

"Never!" Gai screamed. With the everyone left except for Kakashi. His finger was stuck.

Dun, dun, dun!

"Shut up, Dammit!"

Kris: I go to High school soon…

Kakashi: good.

Kris: I heard some bad stuff…

Kakashi: At least you have study hall.

Kris: Not at my school.

Kakashi: Doesn't your old school have a rock wall now?

Kris: Yeah, I think so?

Kakashi: Go visit.  
Kris: Why?

Kakashi: You miss your gym teacher so there you go.

Kris: I may join soccer at my school.

Kakashi: Good.

Kris: That will give me less writing time.

Kakashi: Okay.

Kris: I'm cared about. Read and review.


	5. The random chapter with no point

Kris: I just finished a chapter in two days! 

Kakashi: Woot!

Kris: and it only took me one day to type so it's really crappy.

Kakashi: Woot!

Kris: I think Kakashi's broken ;

Kakashi: Woot!

**Trying to it figure out; Iruka's idea**

After three hours, a cupcake and Jiraiya dancing in a falcon suit. Kakashi's finger was free. The next day the funeral took place. The Akimichi's and the Yamanaka's were the first to arrive. Followed by Asuma and Kurenai. Then sand siblings busted in and let Temari pay her last respects to the pineapple head. Soon everyone was there. Hearing boring stories and corny jokes about Shikamaru. Soon everyone left and went to the disco.

"Woot!" Anko screamed shaking her butt with Jiraiya, Naruto and Shino. Yeah, bug boy Shino can shake his groove thang. Gai and Lee did the hustle. Ino, Sakura and Tenten danced like mini hookers. Sasuke and Neji danced the marcarana. Kurenai and Asuma danced the tango. Hinata just stood there poking her fingers.

"Hinata!" Naruto screamed, even though she was right next to him "Wanna dance with me?"

Hinata blushed, poked her fingers, and looked down at the floor. "O-Okay…" With that Naruto took her hands and started to shake his groove thang. Shino walked up and slapped him.

"No." Shino glared "I shake my grove thang. Not you."

At the bar, Iruka and Kakashi sat there sipping random drinks.

"It's so weird." Iruka said.

"I know." Kakashi pondered.

"I just can't believe it."

"You said it, brother."

"I mean why."

"My words exactly."

"First Kiba and then Shikamaru."

"…"

"Kakashi?"

"I thought you were talking about why Ino, Sakura and Tenten are dancing like hookers. I mean Ino, I can picture, Sakura is believable, but Tenten! I don't even know who she is!"

"Kakashi!"

"Oh! Sorry."

"Think about it. Kiba and then Shikamaru." Iruka pointed out "If Kiba had been alive he would have been able to sniff out the guy and Shikamaru is a genius, and their best asset was taken, too."

"Yeah."

"It's way to fishy."

"Yeah"

"I mean why."

"Yeah."

"Kakashi are you even listening to me?"

"Yeah."

"Kakashi! Put the book down!"

"Okay, okay."

"I was just asking who did it."

"I'll find out now."

"How?"

"You'll see." Kakashi walked to a random hotel. "Who killed Kiba and Shikamaru?"

"Dammit Kakashi! I already told you I can't tell you." Kris yelled

"Fine then!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Yeah!"

"Are we still going to the movies tomorrow with Kojiro."

"Of course."

"Good." Kakashi smiled "Goodbye!"

"I love you! Buh bye!" Kris said coping that girl from some cartoon thing with the Warner brothers, and the Warner sister. She closed the door and ran off to dance with her hobo zombie army. Kakashi ran back to the disco.

"Did you figure it out?" Iruka asked

"No." Kakashi frowned "But I am going to the movies with Kris and Kojiro tomorrow."

Kakashi: Why am I going to the movies?

Kris: Because I hate how in almost all movies two people keep fight only using the word 'fine' or 'yeah'

Kakashi: Me too.

Kris: so I needed to make fun of it.

Kakashi: Oh… What movie are we going to see?

Kris: Asked Kojiro?

Rasuparru Kojiro: Um… I don't know

Kris: There you go.

Kakashi: Ah.

Kris: Read and review or Kojiro will eat you.


	6. kill ushers

Kris: sorry for the wait.

Kakashi: Yeah, with soccer and all.

Kris: STFU!

Iruka: What's wrong? You didn't make the team?

Kris: I never got to try out cause my damn gym teacher didn't call me! Must! Keel! HIM!

Kakashi: Didn't you miss him last chapter?

Kris: SHUT UP! Now you die to!

Kakashi: B-but what about the movies.

Kris: we shall still go because Kojiro already has the ticket.

Kakashi: then I die

Kris: Nah, I'll just make you stupid in this chapter.

* * *

KILL USHERS!

"Two down." Tenten muttered

"Yeah" Neji said as they continued on their not a date but a random meeting of some sort.

"Who do you think will be next?"

"Let's not think about that." Neji said putting his arm around Tenten for no reason..

"Okay, Neji." Tenten said "So, what shall we do?"

They both looked at each other, shrugged, and said "movies?" at the same time.

"Yeah." Neji said as the two walked

"We can see that new horror movie 'the day the world ate ketchup.' I heard it's real crappy." Tenten giggled.

"Umm… no we can't go there." Neji said staring at the floor, nervous as hell.

"What wrong?" Tenten grabbed his hand as they walked into the movie theatre.

"I was told… that it was filled with gore." Neji said, his eyes bolted to the floor.

"Are you scared?"

"No!"

"Then come on."

The two walked into the theatre and brought tickets and popcorn. They both sat in the back row and just sat there. At the same time Kakashi, Kris, and Kojiro walked in. They sat in the second last row.

"This movie looks stupid." Kakashi complained

"yeah, but it'll make more since then the Grudge." Kris snarled while plotting her revenge against the people who made that movie… and Rob Schneider. They all nodded in agreement as the movie started.

Back to Tenten and Neji, the not dating lovebirds on their not a date but a random meeting of some sort

3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3

"Neji?"

"Yeah, Tenten?"

"You seem nervous?" Tenten said putting an arm on his shoulder.

"Ssssssssssssssssssssssh!" Kakashi shushed

"Well, I am..." Neji said "… not."

"Don't lie."

"Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh!" Kakashi shushed louder.

"Fine. Last night something weird happened."

"What happened, Neji."

"I was on a message board and……" Neji started

"Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh!"Kakashi shushed again.

Neji glared and continued "You see…"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Kakashi screamed "THAT OR I'LL SICK THE RAT DEMON ON YOU!" Kojiro started to act all rabid and nosily chewed the air.

"NYAH! NYAH! NYAH!" He chewed.

Everything got quiet for the rest of the movie until Kakashi felt random.

"I WANT COOKIE DOUGH!" he screamed

"Me too!" Kris yelled both jumping up

"I want diet coke!" Kojiro snarled.

Two usher came and kicked them out, so they left. Kojiro went to the gym to lift weights and yell "You fail!" at people, Kris ran off to write another chapter so no angry fan or flamers or waffles could yell at her, and Kakashi went into the theatre bathroom.

"I hate ushers." Kakashi stated as he went in "Kicked me out without giving me any cookie dough. How can they treat a pregnant one so cruel"

He looked at the stalls and scratched his head. All of them were dirty and gross except one. It shined like the mourning sun!

Kakashi walked over to it and opened the door… but it was locked. He kicked it in and saw

"DUN! DUN! DUN"

"Gai! Get out of this bathroom!" Kakashi screamed as Gai ran though the bathroom door.

Kakashi sighed and looked at the bathroom stall. The inside was covered in blood. and sitting on the toilet was Neji.

"Hey!" Kakashi screamed looking at Neji whose long hair covered his face "get up"

He started to shake his shoulder. His head coming up towards him. First he saw two black holes in his head were two pale, white eyes used to be.

"Dude!" Kakashi said letting go of the eyeless prodigy "Are you okay?"

Neji's head fell into the toilet and he didn't get up.

"Oh my f$#& god!" Kakashi screamed "He's going to drown! 

Dun! Dun! Dun!

"Shut the f$ up, Gai!"

* * *

"Man you don't need to swear so much! Youth!"

Kris: Ta dah!

Kakashi: … --

Kris: What's up.

Kakashi: I'm not that stupid

Kris: to bad.

Kakashi: Soccer

Kris: O 

Kakashi: OO

Kris: DAMN YOU, GYMTEACHER! -goes off to beat him up-

Kakashi: Opps. ;

Kris: : K

Obito: HI! (o o) 


	7. Dun! Dun! Dun!

Kris: This is a random filler chapter that has important stuff happen in it!

Kakashi: Woot!

Kris: Yes and I'm writing a new fan fiction!

Kakashi: Why don't you finish this one first?

Kris: Cause I have ADHD

Kakashi: Oh.

Kris: Oh yeah last chapter I had all faces in it and the got deleted so I wasn't using chat speak.

Jiraiya: Taco!

* * *

**DUN! DUN! DUN!**

Kakashi raced to get help.

"Where did Gai go to!" He asked himself as he saw it… THE MURDERER!

Kakashi glared. As he pulled out a kunai he targeted the guy.

"Bingo."

In a flash Kakashi was on top of the guy. He pushed a kunai though the guys throat . Dead.

"Damn ushers." Kakashi said standing up "Next time I say I want cookie dough you get me cookie dough." he walked off, a mysterious wind blowing behind him.

Dun, dun, dun!

"Gai, your student just drowned in a toilet…" Kakashi said as he passed the ugly, spandex man.

"Oh no!" Gai cried out "LEE!"

"Umm… no. The other one, the not lee. That girl."

"Neji?"

"Yeah."

There was a long awkward silence.

"So?" Gai asked

**_A random room in no where even though the room was Iruka's bedroom with only Gai, Iruka, Lee, and Asuma_**

There was no funeral due to the fact no one really cared, even though many people do. Neji didn't like then though. So, no one went except Tenten.

"Well! Now the team is a hundred percent youthful at least!" Lee spoke aloud trying to make the mood less grim.

"Almost…" Gai's eyes narrowed at Tenten " Almost…"

"Hey where's Kakashi?" Asuma asked wanting some guy to talk to that wasn't gay or a sissy.

"He's on a vacation for two chapters." Iruka spoke softly "He's tired from all the abuse."

"What a wimp!" Gai cried out "He should be here helping us!"

"No."

"Woah!" Gai said jumping into Asuma's arms "That sounded like Kakashi!"

"It is me."

"Where are you?" Asuma questioned.

"Away. It's called a vacation. Leave me alone."

They all nodded as everyone started to leave, except Iruka. For this was his house.

He sat down at his computer about to download the latest Flipper episode as a small chat box opened three words were typed in it.

**Check your closet!

* * *

**

Kris: Short crappy chapter… ::sighs:: I need more horror movies...

Obito: Hi!

Kris: Obito:: huggles Obito::

Obito: Ugh! Read and review!


End file.
